Helping Your Child Feel Confident With a VP Shunt
You never imagined becoming fluent in medical jargon like “ventriculoperitoneal shunt” when your child was born. Now, it’s part of your daily vocabulary—alongside MRIs, pressure valves, and hydrocephalus. Between hospital visits, watching for subtle signs of malfunction, and answering your child’s innocent but complicated questions, it’s easy to feel like you’re walking a tightrope. You want to protect them without overprotecting. You want them to live fully, not just safely.
Helping a child adjust to life with a VP shunt isn’t about wrapping them in bubble wrap. It’s about helping them understand their body, trust their instincts, and feel capable, even when things get a little scary.
Here’s how you can make that happen—practically, creatively, and with just the right amount of whimsy.
Normalize Medical Language—But Make It Child-Sized
Many children feel anxious about their shunt because it sounds like something that’s “not supposed to be there.” It helps to demystify it early. Instead of calling it “the shunt,” try giving it a name together—something silly, empowering, or even superhero-themed.
Use clear language that connects to what they already know. You can say something like: “Your shunt helps keep the pressure in your head just right—kind of like how the float in a toilet tank keeps it from overflowing. It’s like a helper that works quietly inside.”
This kind of language makes it easier for young children to relate to something they can’t see. Naming it gives it familiarity, and reducing fear often starts with understanding.
Support Autonomy With Gentle Structure
Children don’t need to feel in control of everything. But they do need to feel some control. When a child has a VP shunt, there are usually a lot of routines to follow—medication reminders, follow-up appointments, activity modifications, and sometimes school accommodations.
Letting them choose small things—like their bandage color, or when to do their shunt check-in—can build confidence without putting pressure on them.
A five-year-old might enjoy using a sticker chart for incision care. An eight-year-old might want to be the one to explain their emergency plan to their teacher. A teen may want to speak directly with the neurosurgeon. Even little choices, like what book to bring to a waiting room, can be empowering.
When kids feel part of their care, they’re more likely to trust the process and develop a sense of ownership over their health.
Anticipate Emotional Aftershocks
The emotional side of surgery and living with a chronic condition doesn’t always show up immediately. Some children seem fine in the hospital but later become clingy, frustrated, or withdrawn. That’s not defiance—it’s often a delayed reaction to stress.
These emotional waves can show up in ways that don’t seem connected: nightmares, fear of the bath, or sudden anxiety at bedtime. Sometimes, the bravest kids are simply the ones holding it in until they feel safe enough to let it out.
Be ready to validate whatever comes up. Instead of brushing fears aside, try saying: “That sounds really hard,” or “I’m glad you told me.” If they ask questions you don’t know the answer to, be honest: “I don’t know, but let’s ask your doctor.”
This kind of open, judgment-free dialogue models resilience and shows them that they don’t have to be perfect—they just have to be real.
Make Room for Play That Includes Their Reality
Children process complex experiences through play. Medical play is not just something that happens in a hospital setting—it can (and should) happen at home.
If your child pretends their stuffed animal has a shunt, that’s not odd. That’s smart. It’s how they make sense of what they’re going through. It gives them a safe way to rehearse emotions, explore curiosity, and test the boundaries of what feels safe.
You can encourage this kind of play by following their lead. If they want to draw their shunt on paper or make a cardboard model, support it. These activities reinforce understanding and reduce the mystery or fear around medical devices.
Talk About Shunt Malfunctions Without Causing Panic
The idea of a shunt malfunction can feel overwhelming. But avoiding the topic won’t make it go away. The more calmly and clearly you can talk about it, the more prepared your child will feel.
You might say something like: “Your shunt usually works really well. But if you ever have a strong headache, throw up a lot, feel super tired, or act really different, that might mean your shunt needs help. That’s why we always pay attention to how you’re feeling.”
Some families create a visual signal chart using red, yellow, and green cards to help children express how they’re feeling. It gives them language and color cues to check in with their own body.
This approach encourages open communication without adding unnecessary stress.
School Transitions Need Planning (But Also Trust)
Returning to school after surgery or while managing a condition like hydrocephalus can feel daunting. But most kids with VP shunts adjust beautifully—especially when the adults around them are informed and respectful.
Work with school staff to create a simple care plan. It should include what signs to look out for, when to call home, and how to support your child in everyday activities. If your child needs more consistent accommodations, a 504 Plan may be a helpful tool.
Preparing your child to talk about their shunt (if they want to) can also make a big difference. Practice short, age-appropriate explanations together. Most classmates will accept the information and move on quickly. A confident, simple explanation helps reduce the chance of teasing or confusion.
Let Them Have Normal Adventures
It’s natural to want to protect your child, especially when they’ve been through surgery or live with a chronic condition. But living with a shunt doesn’t mean they need to live in a bubble.
With appropriate medical guidance, most children with VP shunts can participate in regular physical activity, make friends, and explore their world safely. Encourage your child to try new things—sports, games, playdates—while giving them tools to speak up if something doesn’t feel right.
Safety doesn’t have to mean restriction. It can mean preparation, confidence, and communication. Let them climb trees (within reason). Let them get messy. Let them be kids.
They are not fragile. They are capable.
Remember That Siblings Are Watching, Too
Brothers and sisters often have a front-row seat to everything that happens in a medically complex household. They notice the stress, the appointments, the extra attention. And they sometimes carry worries of their own.
Make time to check in with siblings. Include them in appropriate ways, whether that means letting them come to an appointment or asking how they feel about what’s going on. Consider offering medical play support tools or activities to them too, so they can understand and express what they’re seeing.
By involving siblings, you foster empathy and unity within the family—not just care for one child.
Build a Toolbox for Everyday Coping
The routines of living with a VP shunt don’t stop after surgery. There are follow-up scans, physical checks, school coordination, and maybe physical therapy. It can feel like a lot.
A visual calendar, reminder chart, or family planning board can help children know what’s coming. Even something as simple as drawing a happy face on appointment days can turn anxiety into anticipation.
Build a coping toolbox together. That might mean noise-canceling headphones for loud hospital sounds, a favorite blanket for MRI day, or a playlist of calming songs. Whatever helps them feel safe, bring it into the routine.
When your child feels equipped for what’s coming, they’re less likely to feel overwhelmed.
Reframe the Narrative
It can be tempting to define your child’s experience by their medical condition. But a shunt is one part of their story, not the whole story.
Talk about their shunt the way you would talk about glasses or braces—something helpful, specific, and completely normal. Use words like “health helper” or “brain buddy” if that fits their personality. Avoid overly dramatic language, especially around other children or family members.
Reinforce who they are: curious, silly, kind, adventurous. Their medical story is one of strength and resilience—not limitation.
Encourage Ongoing Questions and Curiosity
As your child grows, their questions will change. The toddler who once asked, “Can I swim with my shunt?” may become the teen wondering, “Can I go backpacking after college?”
Keep the lines of communication open. Show them how to look things up safely. Encourage questions and curiosity. Help them learn how to talk to their medical team.
This teaches them that their body is not a mystery—it’s something they can learn about, understand, and care for.
You’re Not Alone in This
Living with a VP shunt doesn’t mean living in fear. It means learning to listen to your body, trust your caregivers, and stay curious about how your amazing brain works. And that goes for you, too. You don’t have to know everything today. Just show up, stay present, and let your child teach you what they need.
At The Butterfly Pig, we believe kids deserve tools that reflect their real lives. Our realistic medical play support tools give children a way to explore their medical experiences in a way that feels empowering and familiar. Because when a child sees themselves reflected in their play, they feel less alone—and a little more in control.
Childhood can still be joyful, curious, and full of possibility. Even with a shunt.