Supporting Your Child Through the Stressors of a Hospitalization

09 Apr 2025

Supporting Your Child Through the Stressors of a Hospitalization

Written by: Janine Kreider, MS, CCLS

Having your child be admitted to the hospital, whether it’s the first time or a recurring experience, can be challenging and emotionally draining. You’re working to balance advocating and caring for your child while also managing your emotions in an effort to protect your child. Let’s talk about a few of the key components that often accompany a hospital admission and how you can help yourself and your child to make it as positive of an experience as possible.

First Time Admission

Whether the admission is planned or unexpected, a first-time hospital admission comes with a lot of unknowns and associated worries. You may wonder how your child will sleep in an unfamiliar environment, what you can do to make the space more comfortable, and how to balance other familial obligations during your stay. These concerns are both normal and understandable. Often, the best approach is to break it down one thing at a time to see what will work best for your family.

Staying in the hospital can be nerve-wracking under the best of circumstances and
traumatizing under the worst.

Here are some ways you can make the space more your own:

 

  • Bring pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, etc. from home. This applies to both you and your child. If this is a planned admission, allow your child to be a part of the packing/preparation to return some control and give them the autonomy to choose what items will be most comforting during their stay. If your admission is more emergent/unexpected, talk with your child when possible and allow them to suggest some items they’d like to have you or a family member bring to them in the hospital. This both allows the hospital room to have a touch of home, a known safe environment, as well as provides your child with increased autonomy in a situation that often limits those opportunities.
 
  • Have your child and/or siblings and friends make “décor” for the room. This can be anything such as drawings that you can hang up, banners that you can stretch along the wall, window markers to decorate the door/windows, etc. While your child may not be the one doing all of the decorating, get their input wherever possible to involve them in the process.
 
  •  If your child is able to eat a normal diet, bring snacks, drinks, and other preferred food items to have on hand. This can help provide more normalcy during the experience, as well as help with costs of ordering takeout or frequent trips to the cafeteria for yourself. Just be sure to speak with your nursing to staff to understand any dietary restrictions your child may have.

New Diagnosis

During the course of your admission, your child may receive a new diagnosis. This could be something you were expecting or something much more jarring, such as a life limiting or life-threatening diagnosis. Regardless of the specifics, a new diagnosis can bring about a whirlwind of questions and concerns. 

Here are some ways to break it down and prepare for what’s next:

  • Listen to what the doctors have to say during the initial conversation. It is a common occurrence, especially with an unexpected diagnosis, to be so emotionally overwhelmed that your brain begins to run through questions, concerns and hypothetical scenarios so fast that it’s nearly impossible to focus on the conversation at hand. This is entirely normal, as the emotions tend to come flooding in when we receive this kind of news. Try to remind yourself that there will be plenty of time for questions and discussions and bring yourself back to the present, listening to what is being said in the moment.

  • After the initial conversation, take some time to yourself to write down all the questions, concerns, scenarios, etc. that you quieted earlier. It doesn’t matter how unrealistic they may be, if it’s something you’re worried about – write it down and ask. The staff are there to care for your child, and part of that means making sure you have a handle on the situation. Never forget that you are your child’s best advocate, so do whatever you need to understand the situation so that you can advocate appropriately.

  • Ask questions when the staff is rounding on your child, but don’t hesitate to request a separate meeting to speak to your medical team if you don’t feel you have enough time during the daily rounds. Additionally, if you have questions or concerns that impact multiple different specialties caring for your child (i.e. oncology, neurology, nephrology, etc.), requesting a team meeting can be a simpler way to have everyone at the table at the same time.

  • As you are wrapping your head around a new diagnosis and gathering information, remember that your child is the one experiencing everything and typically know their body much better than we ever will. Because of this, they are often aware when we withhold information regarding their care. Consider talking with your child at a developmentally appropriate level about their diagnosis, allowing them to express questions, worries and wonders that ca be passed along to the team. Too often, parents feel they are protecting their children by keeping the information from them. This can lead to confusion, distrust and ultimately a more negative experience than honesty and vulnerability. If you are worried about how to talk to your child or whether or not you should, ask to speak with a child life specialist at your hospital for suggestions and reassurance or book a session with Hearts Connected, a virtual provider of child life services.

Bedside Procedures

Frequently during a hospitalization, your child may require procedures that are often completed at the bedside. This could be anything from a daily lab draw to suture removal or urinary catheter placement. While it’s not always possible to avoid the procedure altogether, there are ways you can advocate to make it less stressful for your child.

  • If your child is having a lot of blood draws, you can speak with your team to see if there is any way to bundle care in order to avoid multiple pokes. This essentially means that the team would look to see if there are multiple lab orders than can be drawn at once instead of having to do multiple needles throughout the day. This is not always feasible depending on what the orders are for, but it is certainly worth a conversation.

  • Speak with your child at a time when no procedures are occurring and ask how they would like to receive information about these events. Some children are very information seeking and would prefer to know all of the details they will experience as soon as possible. Others are more avoidant in nature and would prefer to know just before the procedure occurs with as little details as necessary. Either of these are appropriate coping strategies and can inform how you support your child during these experiences.

  • Depending on your child’s preferences, you can provide distraction or other support during the procedure. This could be watching a favorite video or playing a favorite game on a tablet, engaging in deep breathing exercises, looking away and talking to a loved one, etc. Other children may prefer to watch the procedure, asking questions as they come up during the experience. Again, either of these approaches is appropriate and is a way of providing control to your child, increasing their mastery over the experience.

Missing Milestones

A hospital admission, whether planned or unexpected, can require a child to miss some significant milestones in life. This might be a birthday, a school dance, a graduation, or a significant event of a loved one. No matter how important the reason for admission, it is always challenging to miss big events.

  • Validate the emotions that come with missing the event. Regardless of what options may exist to still celebrate, it is important to acknowledge the negative emotions that come with having to alter plans to be in the hospital. Allow your child space to feel those emotions while also working to support an alternative plan. This is a great opportunity to help your child understand that sadness and enjoyment can coexist in situations like this.

  • Celebrate the event in the hospital, if possible. Invite family and friends to visit during appropriate hours and celebrate with your child. While this will not take the place of missing the original event, you can talk with your child about it being a “placeholder” celebration until you can all celebrate after discharge.

  • If the event is on a specific date and not something that can be moved (i.e. a wedding, a dance, a graduation), see if there’s a way to livestream the event for your child. In some circumstances, this can be done in a 2-way manner, allowing your child to feel somewhat as though they are present. 

  • Speak with your child honestly in order to see how they are feeling about missing the event and use that as a way to discern what might be the best way to support them emotionally.

Life After Discharge

Going home after discharge is often accompanied by feelings of relief, happiness and eagerness to get back to “normal.” However, depending on the circumstances, life may not be going back to what was previously your normal. Whether there are definitive changes that will begin after discharge or not, it is important to recognize that your child may have a lot of emotions as time goes on and they are able to fully process their hospital experience.

  • Check in on your child regularly, assessing to see if they seem to be adjusting to life at home well or if they are struggling to reacclimate. This could look like increased anxiety, withdrawn behavior, increased agitation, disrupted sleep, decreased interest in things they previously enjoyed, etc.
 
  •  If you find your child experiencing some negative after-effects of hospitalization, talk with them about it. It is not uncommon for children to either acutely or chronically experience some trauma after a hospitalization. It may be helpful for your child to meet with a child life specialist from Hearts Connected, who specialize in medical trauma and processing.
 
  • If your child will be experiencing repeated hospitalizations or clinic visits, it is possible that they will be more likely to display some of these more concerning behaviors as time goes on. There are many resources available to support your child both diagnosis specific as well as with general medical stressors. Continuing to be open and honest with your child will help keep positive lines of communication and allow them a safe place to come when they are in need of help.
 
  • If you child is going to be consistently exposed to a new medical device or procedure, consider buying a related medical toy from The Butterfly Pig to help with desensitization, normalization, education, and emotional expression!

Overall, a hospital experience can be helpful to your child physically while stressful to them emotionally. There are many great resources both in-house and outpatient to support you and your child throughout the experience. Don’t hesitate to talk with your medical team about how you and your child are doing so that they can help connect you to what you need and make the experience as positive as possible. Know that you are not alone and there are a team of child life specialists available to help your family navigate challenging medical situation at Hearts Connected. We are open 7 days a week, have no waiting list, and offer free phone consultations. Call us at 404-516-0906, email us at info@heartsconnected.org, or visit our website at www.heartsconnected.org to learn more!